Naruto Viva La Bam Style
by bleedformeee
Summary: Team Kakashi vs. Team Asuma vs. Team Kurenai in a Viva La Bam style scavenger hunt. Now with added weird.
1. part 1 the hunt begins

Naruto – Viva La Bam Style  
  
A/N: My friends do the Viva La Bam Scavenger Hunt every month and I was just thinking about how funny it would be if the Naruto crew tried it. Hopefully the things going on in my head will actually be funny to other people as well. Uh, Naruto and the gang are older, 'cause I say so. And for the purpose of this story, all that 'Sasuke running off to join Orrochimaru' stuff never happened. Alright, good.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Naruto. Just borrowing them for my story. I don't own Viva La Bam either...  
  
Part One. The hunt begins. By bleedformeee.  
  
Sasuke leaned back against the wall, clearly agitated. Naruto sighed and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. Sakura pouted and slumped to the ground.  
  
"Ugh, he's never going to get here," Sakura wailed. "It's been three hours! Let's just go home."  
  
"Such a bad attitude, Sakura," came the teasing voice of their sensei as he appeared before them, his silver hair blowing in the late afternoon breeze. Sakura glared daggers at the man before she began her tirade.  
  
"Where the HELL have you been? You said to meet at 3:00 pm. It's 6:08. What were you thinking? Have you ever heard of a little something called punctuality? It's a very important part of one's character! It angers people when you're late, because you're wasting their time. It conveys the message that you don't care whether they have better things to do or not!" She trailed off when she noticed her sensei was no longer listening to her, but rather chatting with the blonde boy who sat next to her. "DAMN IT, KAKASHI-SENSEI! Did you even hear a word I said?"  
  
Kakashi looked over toward Sakura. "Yeah, Sakura. I heard you. I'm Sorry I was late. I had... better things to do..."  
  
"AND YOU THINK WE DIDN'T!?!"  
  
"Oi, calm down, Sakura-chan. Do we get a super cool and dangerous mission today, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto squealed.  
  
"Well, about that... There is no mission today... but there is something we will be doing. You can call it... training. The three rookie genin teams will be having a little contest."  
  
"YEAH!" Naruto shouted, "We're so gonna win! Because our team has the almighty, all powerful UZUMAKI NARUTO!" He jumped around thrusting his fist into the air in premature victory.  
  
"Shut up, idiot. What kind of contest?" Sasuke asked.  
  
"A scavenger hunt. Asuma, Kurenai, and I were discussing how it would really benefit you guys to do some exercises on gathering, er-data... and stuff in a certain amount of time..."  
  
(LIES-ALL LIES! We will now travel into the past 10 minutes)  
  
-x-  
  
"This is some funny shit." Asuma giggled, trying desperately to take a drag off his cigarette. He was having a hard time doing so while in hysterics. The three jounins were crowded around a small television, intently watching the display.  
  
"Shouldn't you go meet your team, Kakashi? I thought you were supposed to meet up with them three hours ago?" Kurenai asked.  
  
"Nah, they're fine. Plus, Viva La Bam is an awesome show," Kakashi said, pointing at the screen.  
  
"More like outrageous. Can you imagine people actually doing this? This is the strangest scavenger hunt I've ever seen." Kurenai replied.  
  
"Hmm." Kakashi wondered aloud, his right eye gleaming.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Kurenai asked.  
  
"I was just thinking... How about we make a wager. We give the Viva La Bam scavenger hunt list to each one of our teams. Fifty bucks says my team can get more points than either of your teams." Kakashi was grinning, as far as the other two jounins could tell.  
  
Kurenai looked hesitant. "How would we get them to even go on the hunt? They'd surely refuse."  
  
"Not if we told them it was training..." Kakashi said.  
  
"YEAH! It can be a gathering exercise, to see whose team is best at gathering information..." Asuma added.  
  
"I dunno, guys... it seems a little shady to make bets on our students." Kurenai said.  
  
"Chicken." The male jounins teased.  
  
"$50? Lets make it $100. And no helping the teams. They have to do everything themselves." Kurenai demanded, angry with the other two for thinking she was afraid.  
  
"Deal." The three shook hands and parted. "Tonight, 8:00 pm. Gather your teams. Meet at the Ninja Academy by the tire swing. Don't be late."  
  
"You should talk, Kakashi." Kurenai teased as she and Asuma left to gather their teams.  
  
-x-  
  
(BACK TO PRESENT)  
  
"A scavenger hunt? Are you serious? Little kids go on scavenger hunts." Sasuke complained, while Naruto leapt around, excited about the upcoming competition.  
  
"But this scavenger hunt is not for little kids. You will notice the tasks that need to be completed are very mature. Now let's head out to meet the other teams and receive instructions." Kakashi started off for the academy and the three genins followed closely behind.  
  
-x-  
  
"Okay, everyone. Listen up. I will be handing out one list per team so don't lose it. You have until midnight to complete as many tasks as possible. Meet back here at midnight. We will need proof that each task was completed, so each team will also receive one camera and two rolls of film. Use them wisely. Okay, ready?"  
  
"Wait a minute. How is this supposed to benefit us again?" Sakura asked.  
  
"Yeah, what's the point?" Ino chimed in.  
  
"Well, er, it's for practice... in completing tasks in a given time frame..." Kakashi began.  
  
"Yeah, and this exercise will help you manage your time productively..." Asuma added.  
  
"Yes, and you'll have to prioritize..." Kurenai added. "This is a competition after all, and whichever team gets the most points wins a prize."  
  
"They do? OH! Yeah, they do... heh." Kakashi trailed off.  
  
"What kind of prize?" Kiba asked, slightly more interested.  
  
"You'll have to wait and see." Kakashi replied.  
  
Naruto stood up and addressed the other two rookie groups. "I, Uzumaki Naruto, will NOT lose to you guys! Our team will definitely win!"  
  
"Shut up, idiot." Sasuke said in reply to Naruto's little outburst.  
  
"This is so troublesome." Shikamaru sighed.  
  
Each jounin handed their team a list. "Now have fun. See you all at midnight," Kurenai called as the three jounins retreated.  
  
-x-  
  
Sasuke scanned the list he held in his left hand while trying to bat Naruto away with his right hand. "Let ME see, let ME see!" Naruto was whining.  
  
"Damn Kakashi-sensei. Mature tasks my ass. Sakura, get the camera ready." Sasuke ordered.  
  
"Okay, ready." She replied.  
  
"Good, take a picture right... now!" Upon saying the word 'now', Sasuke swiftly kicked Naruto in the balls and Sakura obediently snapped the picture.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!?!" Naruto cried, clutching the now tender area.  
  
"This is going to be easier than I thought. We have 20 points already." Sasuke smirked.  
  
"Sasuke-kun, how did we get 20 points already?" Sakura asked. "All you did was kick Naruto..."  
  
"Number 34, Get kicked in the privates, 20 points," Sasuke read aloud. "This could get interesting..."  
  
A/N: So is it even amusing at all? Good? Bad? I won't continue it if no one's interested. So uh, review. ^_^ 


	2. part 2 lipstick and panties and ramen, o...

Naruto – Viva La Bam Style  
  
A/N: [Brackets] will indicate time from now on... Also, I thought I would let those of you who aren't familiar with Viva La Bam know what it's all about. So if your curious, yes, Viva La Bam is a real show. It's about this guy, Bam Margera- and he's totally weird. Basically the entire show is him trying to piss off his parents. In one of the episodes he rips out the front door and porch and installs a drawbridge so he could turn their house into a castle. They weren't too happy about that. Anyway, in episode 8, he and the Bloodhound Gang go on a scavenger hunt. So I'm using the same list they used. If you're interested in the show, it's part of MTV's Sunday Stew.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Naruto. Just borrowing them for my story. I don't own Viva La Bam either...  
  
Part Two. Lipstick and Panties and Ramen, Oh My! By bleedformeee.  
  
[8:11 pm.]  
  
"So what's next?" Sakura asked, clutching the camera tightly to her chest. 'No way am I going to get stuck doing something weird or painful,' she thought to herself. 'I will definitely stick to being the photographer for tonight's festivities.'  
  
"Look's like our next stop is Ichiraku Ramen. Let's go," Sasuke said, heading in the direction of the ramen shop.  
  
-x-  
  
"Well, what should we do first?" Shikamaru asked.  
  
Ino scanned the list, searching for the task that would score the most points. Upon finding that task an evil grin overtook her face and she smiled up at Shikamaru.  
  
"Uh, whatever you're thinking, the answer is no." He protested.  
  
"Awww, but Shikamaru, it's 40 points! Just sit still," Ino commanded.  
  
Shikamaru wondered what horrible things fate had in store for him. He closed his eyes and waited for whatever was coming his way. Then it hit him... Only not really, because what he felt on his lips was not painful. He opened his eyes to discover Ino happily painting his lips with a tube of bright red lipstick. "Lipstick? This sucks."  
  
"SHH! Don't talk! You made me smear it." Ino snapped.  
  
"This is so troublesome," Shikamaru sighed, although he was secretly relieved that what Ino had in mind had been embarrassment and not pain. Ino rubbed foundation into his cheeks and then added some pinkish blush. She curled his eyelashes and added mascara. She finished with red eye shadow. Finally, she took a step back to admire her work.  
  
"Number 27, Full-face make-up, 40 points," Ino said, smiling. "We are so going to win this contest.  
  
Chouji took his hand out of his bag of potato chips long enough to snap a picture of Ino's fine work. "You look pretty, Shikamaru." Chouji teased. Ino held up a small mirror for him to see.  
  
"Hmm, not bad. Can we wash it off now?" Shikamaru asked, lowering the mirror. He stared into pretty blue eyes. She was leaning over him, staring right back. "Uh, Ino?" He asked, slightly uncomfortable with her closeness.  
  
"Chouji's right. You do look pretty," Ino breathed. She leaned closer still and captured his lips with her own. His eyes widened in shock as she ran her tongue along his bottom lip, waiting for an invitation. He opened his mouth slightly and she took advantage of the opportunity, shoving her tongue into his mouth. He closed his eyes, and thought about how he might possibly be the luckiest guy in the world at that very moment. However, the kiss ended as quickly as it had begun, and Ino pulled her self away as soon as she saw the light from the camera's flash.  
  
Shikamaru's eyes snapped open. "Wha-What was that about?" He asked, secretly wishing that the kiss hadn't ended.  
  
Ino noticed Shikamaru's face redden through his make-up and felt a blush coming on her self. "Number 3, French kiss a girl, 10 points," she replied, turning away from him so he wouldn't see her flushed face.  
  
"Oh," He replied, disappointed.  
  
-x-  
  
Kiba's eyes scrunched up as he examined the list. "Hey, Hinata-chan, give me your panties," Kiba ordered.  
  
"Ex-Excuse me, Kiba-kun? Are y-you serious?"  
  
"Yeah, it's either your bra or your panties, and panties are worth more points."  
  
"B-But I don't want to..." She lowered her eyes to the ground and stepped behind Shino to hide herself.  
  
Kiba noted her reluctance and embarrassment, and he felt slightly ashamed for asking his timid teammate to hand over her undergarments. "Er-I'm sorry, Hinata-chan. You don't have to take off your underwear. We can do something else on the list."  
  
Hinata brightened a little. "Umm, Kiba-kun?" She asked.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I-I know where we c-can get w-women's underwear..." She blushed.  
  
"Well, then, let's go! Lead the way, Hinata."  
  
-x-  
  
[8:27pm]  
  
The three genins peered at the ramen shop from inside the bushes. "Umm, Sasuke, what are we doing in the bushes?" Naruto asked.  
  
Sasuke turned to face him. "Okay, Naruto. This one is all you. Number 22, Take a bite of a stranger's meal in a restaurant, 30 points. So go ahead."  
  
"What? You want me to go eat someone else's food?"  
  
"Just a bite, now go!" Sasuke said, pushing Naruto out of the bush.  
  
Naruto tripped over himself and stumbled to the ground. "Why do I have to do everything?" Naruto grumbled as he dragged himself toward the restaurant. Sasuke and Sakura followed stealthily behind him. As he approached the shop, he searched for a victim. His eyes stopped on a small group of teenage girls. They were so loud that they rivaled Naruto on the scale of all things obnoxious.  
  
'Hmm, I doubt any of them would give me their food willingly, so I'll have to make one of them want to give it up.' Naruto thought grinning. He bit his thumb, drawing blood, and performed his hand seals. Pressing his palm to the ground he summoned a small frog.  
  
"Oi, GamaKichi."  
  
"Hey, Naruto, what's up?"  
  
"I need a favor. See those girls over there?" Naruto pointed at the group. GamaKichi nodded. "I need you to go jump into one of their bowls of ramen. I'll take it from there." GamaKichi nodded again and with a running start, he dove into the bowl of an unsuspecting girl. Upon seeing a frog swimming in her ramen, she jumped back and screeched. Naruto took that opportunity to talk to the girl.  
  
"Hey, are you gonna eat that?"  
  
"OMG, are you serious? No. There's a frog all up in it. Like I would eat it after that rodent was in there."  
  
"Frogs aren't rodents..." Naruto said.  
  
"What-ever, they're still icky."  
  
"Well, can I have it then?"  
  
"You like, actually want the frog ramen?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay, whatever, take it." She shoved the bowl toward him. He picked up the chopsticks and took a big bite. *SNAP* went the camera. Naruto took leave of the girls, said his thanks to GamaKichi, and headed over to meet Sasuke and Sakura.  
  
"That was great, Naruto!" Sakura said, excited. "Wasn't it Sasuke?" She said glaring at and elbowing the dark haired shinobi.  
  
"Uh, yeah... Good job... I didn't think you had it in you..." Sasuke said.  
  
"Sakura-chan, did Sasuke just complement me? I think hell just froze over."  
  
-x-  
  
"So, where are we going, Hinata-chan?" Kiba asked.  
  
"To Kurenai-sensei's home..." Hinata whispered.  
  
Kiba's eyes grew big. "Are you serious? How are we gonna get her to give up her panties?"  
  
"S-Sometimes I stay with Kurenai-sensei. Sh-She gave me a key... f-for when I need to get in and she's n-not around." Hinata held up her key for Kiba and Shino to see.  
  
When they arrived at their destination, Hinata fumbled with the lock. She managed to get the door open and the three genins piled inside. Hinata led the other two to the dresser in Kurenai's room. She opened the top drawer, unveiling a mass of silky, lacy panties. Kiba immediately reached for the skimpiest thong he could find. "We'll take this pair," He said grinning. "I didn't know Kurenai-sensei wore this kind of stuff. Do all girls have surprises under their clothes, Hinata?" Hinata blushed and looked away. Kiba continued, "Okay, Number 14, Get a girl's underwear, 20 points. But we get 10 more points if we get a bra too." Hinata opened another drawer and pulled out a black push-up bra.  
  
"C-Can we go now, Kiba-kun? W-We should get to the next task..."  
  
"Yeah, sure, Hinata. Let's go!" Kiba said. The three genins hurried out of the house to perform the next task. "30 points already! I bet we're winning!" Kiba said.  
  
-x-  
  
End of Part 2 Tally:  
  
Kakashi Team: 50 points  
  
Kurenai Team: 30 points  
  
Asuma Team: 50 points  
  
A/N: Aww, poor Kiba doesn't know that his team is actually losing right now. LoL. Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.  
  
"Dark Devil" - Thanks for your nice reviews and for reading my other fic, "You Complete Me". Expect the last chapter of that some time soon ^_^  
  
"FeatheredEdge" – First off, thanks for the review. And second, I hope I answered your question about the show above-er, at the top... P.S. I really like your story "Finally Foment" ^_^ 


	3. part 3 drop your pants

Naruto – Viva La Bam Style  
  
A/N: [Brackets] will indicate time from now on... Er, about the actual scavenger hunt items and their allotted points... I'm not making them up... I'm using the actual Viva La Bam Scavenger hunt list. So yes, I agree, some things may seem like they've been given too many points or not enough, but I'm just following the list. Oh, and maybe if I need extra tasks for some teams later then I'll use your suggestions. Thanks for all your suggestions, by the way! They're much appreciated... I'm glad you're all enjoying this so far. P.S. I don't know exchange rates or the value of yen, U.S. dollars are used in this fic... Enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Naruto. Just borrowing them for my story. I don't own Viva La Bam either...  
  
Part Three. Drop your pants. By bleedformeee.  
  
[8:27 pm. cont.]  
  
Shikamaru, Chouji, and Ino headed for the general store in the center of Konoha. Chouji was hungry and Ino had decided the general store was a perfect place to complete a number of the listed tasks. The three genins entered the shop and Ino began her scheming. Chouji noticed the evil glint in her eye and took off for the back of the store to the safety of the potato chip aisle. Ino looked for a victim and saw only Shikamaru.  
  
"Take off your shirt."  
  
"What? Why me?"  
  
"And your shoes." Ino added.  
  
"This is so troublesome." Shikamaru grumbled, pulling off his jacket and handing it to Ino. He peeled off his fishnet shirt revealing his nicely toned body and leaned down to slip off his shoes. Ino wondered when he had gotten around to getting off his lazy ass and working out.  
  
"Mmkay, now go buy a can of dog food, a bottle of nail polish, whipped cream, lighter fluid, and a pack of condoms."  
  
Before Shikamaru could question her bizarre shopping list and her strange dress code, she was running throughout the store gathering the items. She stopped last in the potato chip aisle to retrieve Chouji and the camera, and proceeded to drag both shinobis to the cash register. She piled the items into Shikamaru's arms and pushed him towards the cashier. He reluctantly set the items on counter and waited for the cashier to ring them up. He saw the flash of a camera, but tried to ignore it.  
  
"Your total is $11.23," The cashier told Shikamaru. He pulled out his wallet and fished around for some bills. "By the way... what are you planning on doing with this stuff?" She asked while bagging the items.  
  
"YES!!!!!!!" Ino screamed, and Chouji took another picture.  
  
Shikamaru handed the cashier a few bills. "Er- Umm, It's just for... a friend... Keep the change!" He managed before grabbing the bag and running out of the store. Ino and Chouji followed behind.  
  
"Now explain?" Shikamaru asked when the other two had joined him.  
  
"We just killed two birds with one stone. Number 1, get service without shoes or shirt, 15 points, and number 23, get a cashier to say, 'What are you using that for?', 30 points." She giggled and handed his clothes back to him. Shikamaru sighed, wondering why he allowed Ino to make him do such embarrassing things.  
  
-x-  
  
[8:49 pm]  
  
Sasuke checked the list for another high scoring task. Upon finding one, he folded the paper in half and handed it to Sakura. "Follow me," he said, leading the other two around the building and into a small, grassy park. "Okay, Naruto, see that tree right there?"  
  
"Yeah... the one with the beehive in it. What about it?" Naruto asked.  
  
"Go get stung."  
  
"Excuse me?!?"  
  
"It's worth 30 points. So go." Sasuke insisted.  
  
Sakura scanned the list to see if Sasuke had been joking. He hadn't been. "Number 10, get a bee sting, 30 points. Sasuke-kun, don't you think that's a bit harsh? I mean he's already been embarrassed and kicked..."  
  
"Yeah! That's right, Sasuke! You can kiss my ass."  
  
Sakura giggled. "Yeah, Sasuke-kun... you can. Number 33, kiss your partner's ass, 15 points."  
  
Sasuke looked appalled. "There is no way I'm kissing *his* ass!" Sasuke shuddered for emphasis.  
  
"Well then you have to do something else. It's your turn. Either kiss my ass, or choose something else off the list... at random." Naruto offered.  
  
"Okay, fine. I choose number 37."  
  
"Oh, no you don't! You've already seen the list. That's not fair. We each pick a number between one and seventeen and then add them together. That will be the number you have to do." Naruto said. "Sasuke chooses first."  
  
"This is wasting time." Sasuke said. Naruto only stared at him. "Ugh. Fine. Twelve." Sasuke said bitterly.  
  
"And Sakura?" Naruto asked.  
  
"Umm... six." She decided.  
  
"And I choose seventeen. So twelve plus six plus seventeen is what?" Naruto turned to Sakura.  
  
"It's thirty-five." She replied. She looked down at the list and read, "Number 35, run a mile without pants, 40 points."  
  
"You're kidding." Sasuke hoped.  
  
Naruto fell on the ground laughing. "Let's go, Sasuke. Drop your pants. A deal's a deal."  
  
Sasuke glared at Naruto, silently cursing his bad luck. He reached for his pants and started unzipping.  
  
Sakura's eyes went wide. Her naughty dreams were about to come true. Well, partially true. Well, not really true at all... but she was going to see Sasuke with his pants off! She got the camera ready.  
  
Naruto couldn't believe Sasuke was actually going to do it. "TAKE IT OFF! Take it ALL off!" Naruto teased. He was really enjoying watching Sasuke get embarrassed for once.  
  
Sasuke's pants hit the floor and a breeze flowed through his little black shorts. "It's cold." He said.  
  
Sakura snapped a picture. "Now run," she said giggling.  
  
-x-  
  
Shino, Kiba, and Hinata found themselves jogging through the park when Hinata noticed something up ahead. She stopped in her tracks. "Oh, my!" She gasped.  
  
Shino and Kiba halted as well. "What is it, Hinata-chan?" Kiba asked.  
  
"I-I-I see... Sasuke-kun... He's not wearing any pants." She blushed and lowered her eyes.  
  
Kiba laughed and searched for the pant-less wonder, but couldn't see as far as she could. He gave up and said, "Okay, let's check the list." He pulled it out, reviewed it, and then handed it to Shino. "Oi, Akamaru, let's start digging a hole." The two began to tear at the ground, sending wet dirt flying in every direction. When he had dug a few feet into the ground he hopped into the hole and instructed the other two genins to bury him. Hinata looked to Shino for approval. Shino shrugged. The two began to cover Kiba with dirt. When they finished, Hinata took a picture.  
  
"ALL RIGHT! Number 39, dig a three foot hole and get buried to your head, 20 points!" Kiba laughed and forced himself out of the loosely packed hole.  
  
"Umm... Kiba-kun... Th-there's a... worm on your shoulder..."  
  
Kiba looked down and noticed a small earthworm wiggling about on his jacket. "This is perfect!" He said excitedly. He picked off the worm and set it in his mouth. Hinata turned white and turned away before she started gagging. Shino took the camera from her and took a picture as Kiba opened his mouth to show the chewed up worm.  
  
"That was lucky," he said, swallowing the mess. "Number 40, find an earthworm and eat it, 30 points!"  
  
-x-  
  
End of Part 2 Tally:  
  
Kakashi Team: 90 points  
  
Kurenai Team: 80 points  
  
Asuma Team: 95 points  
  
A/N: Yay, Kiba's team is catching up. Teams are fairly even, I'd say. LoL. Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.  
  
Those weird items that Ino came up with. I couldn't think of any, so I recruited my friends... those were the winners of what they said:  
  
Question: You're in er... Walgreens, and you need to get the cashier to say, "what are you gonna do with this stuff?" Name your 4 items.  
  
Friend #1: NAIL POLISH, CONDOMS, TURPENTINE AND A BILLY BIG MOUTH BASS  
  
Friend #2: condoms, lighter fluid, peanuts, and hairspray  
  
Friend #3: maybe like charcoal, barbecue sauce, ground beef and an enema  
  
Friend #4: condoms, lube, a big fat sharpie, and some barbie dolls  
  
Friend #5: whipped cream, a douche, jellybeans, and a hose  
  
My friends sure are strange... 


	4. part 4 condoms and whipped cream

Naruto – Viva La Bam Style  
  
A/N: Ah! Finally finished my other Naruto fic, so I can continue with this one. I don't know whether I'm better at writing angst or humor, but I do know that humor is much more fun to write. Thanks reviewers for your support, encouragement, and ideas! You all make me so happy. ^_^ ACK, sorry this is out so late, guys. I was kinda unhappy with this chapter too, which may have contributed to its lateness. Sorry if it blows! :/  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Naruto. Just borrowing them for my story. I don't own Viva La Bam either...  
  
Part Four. Condoms and Whipped Cream. By bleedformeee.  
  
[8:49 pm. cont.]  
  
"Okay, let's see... What to do, what to do...?" Ino wondered aloud. Shikamaru blanched, dreading whatever it was that she would inevitably make him do. He fumbled with the brown paper bag in his hands. 'What am I going to do with this random shit?' He wondered.  
  
"How about you do something this time, Ino?" Chouji suggested.  
  
"Yeah, how about that?" Shikamaru asked, "I'd say it's your turn about now."  
  
"No way. These things are embarra- I mean... Yeah, I'll do something next time. You do one more thing. I'll even help you with this one, and then I'll do something next, all by myself. I promise." She said as she dropped her left hand behind her back, middle and index fingers crossed.  
  
"Okay, fine, but you promised. So what are we doing?"  
  
"Number 32. C'mon, Chouji!" Ino led them back into the store they had just escaped from. Ino grabbed the bag out of Shikamaru's grip and surveyed its contents. She pulled out the pack of condoms, opened the box, pulled out a few of the packets, and thrust them into Shikamaru's hands. Shikamaru looked at the packets and then gave a questioning look to Ino.  
  
"What're these for?" Shikamaru questioned.  
  
Ino giggled. "I can think of a few uses."  
  
"Er- that's not what I mean, Ino. I know what they're used for, but why did you give them to me?" Shikamaru blushed.  
  
"Blow them up."  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"Just do it. Get ready to take pictures, Chouji."  
  
She pulled out the whipped cream and climbed up onto the ice cream freezer next to the store's entrance. She motioned for Shikamaru to join her. She uncapped the can and then proceeded to spray the cream in every direction. Shikamaru blew up one of the condoms, and handed it to Ino.  
  
"Let it fly!" She directed, giggling and showering him with cream.  
  
Soon, the store- and the genins- were covered in whipped cream, and the floor was littered with condom balloons. Needless to say, the manager of the store was very upset and chased the three ninjas for three blocks before he returned to his store to repair the damage. Fortunately, Chouji had obtained plenty of photo evidence.  
  
Ino collapsed against the alley wall, breathing hard. "That was close!" She said, trying to catch her breath.  
  
"What the hell did we just do?" Shikamaru managed to choke out.  
  
"Number 32, get kicked out of a store, 20 points."  
  
-x-  
  
[9:12 pm.]  
  
"Whoa, come get a load of this," Asuma instructed from his place by the window, a grin dominated his face. Kakashi and Kurenai joined him and followed his gaze to the spot where a blond-haired shinobi and pink-haired kunoichi were doubled over in laughter. An angry-looking dark-haired shinobi had just returned from what must have been a long run. Muttering to himself, he snatched his pants up and stumbled around while he attempted to clothe himself.  
  
Kurenai giggled. "Oh wow. I wonder how they convinced him to run sans pants. If it were me, I wouldn't have consented so easily."  
  
"Yeah, well, Sasuke is rather competitive. It probably wasn't too hard to persuade him," Kakashi said. "Plus, it would have been more funny if he had to run without any clothes at all."  
  
"Confessing your fantasies, eh, Kakashi?" Kurenai joked.  
  
"I'm hungry. Let's go get some food." Kakashi changed the subject.  
  
"Me too. So where are we going?" Asuma questioned.  
  
-x-  
  
Kiba, Shino, and Hinata walked across the park to where team seven was stationed. Sasuke was fumbling with his pants. In his apparent embarrassment and anger he was having a hard time buttoning them. Kiba joined in on Naruto and Sakura's laughter. Sasuke shot him a bitter look. Kiba turned back to Naruto.  
  
"So how many points do you guys have so far? I bet we're winning."  
  
"Like we'd tell you," Sasuke said coldly.  
  
"90! 90 Points! BEAT THAT YOU STUPID PUPPY!" Naruto shouted.  
  
"What? How could you guys possibly have that many points? You're the loser team. Shit, let's go, Shino, Hinata-chan. We have to go get more points!" Kiba took off, Shino and Hinata in tow.  
  
-x-  
  
"Damn it, Naruto! Why did you tell them how many points we had?"  
  
"I told them earlier that we'd definitely win. I had to prove to him that we're better." Naruto defended.  
  
"Yes, but now they're going to work even harder to beat us!" Sasuke growled.  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Dumbass."  
  
-x-  
  
"Shit, shit, shit. We're losing to the losers. How could this happen? What are we gonna do, guys?" Kiba worried. Before either Shino or Hinata could answer, Kiba brightened. "I know! We'll do the task that's worth the most points! Then we'll definitely catch up!"  
  
"Good idea, Kiba-kun," Hinata praised.  
  
"Let's see, the most points is for number 47, Get a math problem tattoo, 40 points. Okay, Shino, this one's all you."  
  
"I don't think so." Shino replied.  
  
"But you haven't done anything yet. It's about your turn."  
  
"Yeah, and I also don't care. So if you want the points, do it yourself." Shino replied, as calm as ever.  
  
"And I'm assuming Hinata doesn't want to get a tattoo..." The meek girl lowered her pearly eyes and shook her head. "Okay, fine, I'll do it. Let's go." The three headed off in the direction of the Konoha Tattoo Shop.  
  
-x-  
  
"Okay, Naruto, it's your turn again. We'll take turns, you then me, got it? Now pick a number." Sasuke growled after he had finally managed to clothe himself.  
  
"Hmm, okay, number 9," Naruto decided.  
  
Sakura scanned the list, read his choice, and giggled. "This will be fun. Follow me, boys."  
  
-x-  
  
Kiba slumped into the worn and sweaty seat of the dingy tattoo parlor. As he made himself more comfortable, he prayed that his team would win the scavenger hunt so that he would not be getting a tattoo in vain. A heavy- set, tattoo-covered man pulled up a seat next to him to explain the process. However, his speech was interrupted.  
  
"Ex-excuse me, Kiba-kun."  
  
"Yes, Hinata-chan?"  
  
"D-do you really have to do this? I-I mean, this is k-kinda drastic... and well... c-couldn't you just get a h-henna tattoo instead?" Hinata suggested.  
  
"Henna?" Kiba questioned.  
  
"Y-yeah... it s-says on the sign the do henna t-tattoos here, and th-they wash off..."  
  
"Wash off? Why didn't you say so? Excuse me, Mr. Tattoo Man, but I want a henna tattoo instead."  
  
The man grunted, angry that he had taken out his needles for nothing, and retrieved his henna kit. Shortly after, the three genins exited the shop, Kiba proudly sporting on his arm a 2+2=4 tattoo.  
  
-x-  
  
Sakura stopped in front of Konoha's largest lingerie store, Sassy Sensations. The two boys that accompanied her exchanged worried glances. Well, more like one worried glance and one teasing smirk.  
  
"Mmk, Naruto. Number 9, Hot chick in lingerie, 25 points. So go get yourself a picture." Sakura handed him the camera and motioned him into the store. The lady tending the cashier took one look at the blushing boy, camera in hand, and politely asked him to leave, minus the politely. She literally kicked him out of the shop, and shaking her fist, yelled for him never to return.  
  
Naruto rubbed his sore behind. "That didn't work out. How am I supposed to get a picture of a hot chick in lingerie if they won't even let me in the store?" Naruto whined. Sakura hadn't thought of that. The three genins stood thinking.  
  
"I've got it!" Naruto screamed, "If I can't find a hot chick in lingerie, I'll become a hot chick in lingerie!" Naruto formed his hand seals and *POOF*. Sasuke and Sakura gawked at his new figure. Sasuke fought back a nosebleed and Sakura mentally kicked herself, cursing the fact that her own body was not as curvy. "Okay, LET'S MOVE!" Naruto threw the camera in Sasuke's direction and dragged Sakura into the shop, leaving Sasuke strangely aroused, and with camera. Sasuke had no choice but to follow. After all, they needed photo evidence.  
  
When Sasuke entered the store, he was unnoticed. The sale's clerk had far more interesting things to worry about, like perhaps the naked girl that had just entered the shop.  
  
"Er- can I help you?" The sales lady asked.  
  
"Yeah, umm, my sister- she, uh, lost her clothes." Sakura lied.  
  
"I can see that. What happened to them?"  
  
"They fell off somewhere..." Sakura continued, "And, well, she's kinda cold, so, could you maybe help her out?"  
  
"This is a lingerie shop. We don't carry anything that can really keep a body warm..."  
  
"Anything will do. Something to at least get us home without too many stares...?" Sakura said.  
  
"Like this!" Naruto said, lifting up a black pleather garter belt and its hosiery. "And this!" He added, holding up a matching thong and bustier.  
  
"Uh, suit yourself. There's a dressing room on your right..."  
  
Naruto flew to the dressing room and quickly painted on the lingerie set. He then stepped out of the room. "How does this look?" Naruto asked.  
  
"It looks... good, Naru- er- sister..." Sakura stated.  
  
"I bet it would look better on you," Naruto winked. Sakura was getting ready to slap him, when she was blinded by the flash of the camera.  
  
"Well, I changed my mind. I think I'll walk home nekkid," Naruto told the sales lady as he undressed. "Thanks anyway." The clerk watched them leave. Her family was not going to believe the story she'd tell them during that night's dinner.  
  
The three ninjas exited the store where Naruto promptly turned back into his original self. "Your turn, Sasuke."  
  
-x-  
  
Ino had finally caught her breath when two shadows fell upon her. She looked up into two sets of amused eyes. "Your turn," Shikamaru voiced.  
  
"But..." Ino tried.  
  
"No buts, you promised, and you're going to do something on that list. Now."  
  
Ino sighed in defeat. She couldn't argue any longer with those eyes. "Okay, what do I have to do?"  
  
Shikamaru smiled as she admitted her defeat. He scanned the list. "We'll give you something easy to start with, but it only gets harder along the way. You have to do number 36! Now let's go," He said, leading the other two towards the steakhouse and sushi bar near the center of town.  
  
-x-  
  
End of Part 2 Tally:  
  
Kakashi Team: 115 points  
  
Kurenai Team: 120 points  
  
Asuma Team: 115 points  
  
A/N: Oh my! The teams are so even! I'll have to fix that in the next chapter, which I believe will have appearances from some other Konoha genins... muahahaha. And what could be in store for Ino??? Anyway, hope this chapter wasn't too horrible. I have higher hopes for the next one. Thanks again for all the reviews! They make me smile really big... ^_^ 


	5. part 5 move it

Naruto – Viva La Bam Style  
  
A/N: Sorry this took so long, guys! Arg. I'm a horrible procrastinator, but when I finally get my ass in gear, I can pump out chapters pretty quick. Enjoy! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Naruto. Just borrowing them for my story. I don't own Viva La Bam either... Oh, and for this chapter, I also don't own the song, "Move it," which belongs to Dope.  
  
Part Five. Move It. By bleedformeee.  
  
[9:41 pm.]  
  
Shikamaru and Chouji were respectfully facing the wall opposite their female teammate. "You guys better not peak!" She reminded them for the third time since she had begun taking off her clothes. Ino scowled as she pulled on the little black dress Shikamaru had found in one of the employee lockers. She struggled with the zipper for a short while before admiring herself in the mirror. She smoothed out the wrinkles and did a little spin. "Okay, you guys can look now."  
  
The two shinobis turned around and, boy, did they like what they saw. Shikamaru's jaw dropped about a foot and Chouji even stopped eating for about 10 seconds.  
  
"Y-you look great..." Shikamaru squeaked. "Now, uh, go ahead and get out there."  
  
'This is gonna suck,' Ino thought to herself as she slipped out of the employee locker room and headed toward front desk.  
  
-x-  
  
"So where is this place anyway, Kakashi-senpai? You said it was close and I'm really getting hungry!" Kurenai complained.  
  
"Oh, stop whining. It's really close. See, you can see the sign from here! The red one. It's only another block or so." Kakashi replied.  
  
The three walked in silence until they reached the front doors. Asuma threw his cigarette on the pavement and stubbed it out with his foot. He grabbed the handle and pulled the door open, ushering into the restaurant first Kurenai and then Kakashi. When he joined them, letting the door close behind him, he was surprised at the sight to be seen.  
  
-x-  
  
Ino blushed red when she saw the three jounin outside the door. 'Oh, pleaseeeeeee don't come in here. Pleaseeeee keep walking...' She silently begged. When Asuma grabbed the door handle she felt the sudden urge to run. She turned around to do just that when Shikamaru grabbed her ankle.  
  
"When did you get under the desk?" She hissed.  
  
"You better not leave, Ino. You promised!" Shikamaru scolded.  
  
Ino was about to curse up a storm when she felt an uncomfortable atmosphere fill the reception area. She looked up into three sets of puzzled eyes. She quickly poised herself and asked in her sweetest voice, "Table for three?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, that'd be good..." Asuma replied, noticing how the practically nonexistent black hostess dress clung to his student's hips.  
  
"Okay! Right this way! Follow me." She chirped, leading the teachers to a booth towards the back of the restaurant.  
  
"She sure has grown up a bit, hasn't she, Asuma?" Kakashi whispered as the two ogled her swaying hips.  
  
"She sure has..."  
  
Kurenai flopped into the booth, followed by the two males. Ino handed them each a menu. "Can I get you guys some beverages?"  
  
"Beer?" The three asked simultaneously.  
  
"Ah, well, you'll have to wait for your server then. I'm not old enough to serve alcohol. Well, enjoy your meal." Ino practically ran back to Shikamaru.  
  
"Okay, are we good? Can we go now?"  
  
"No, Ino. You're doing good so far, but that was only the first part of the task." Shikamaru pulled out the list and pointed.  
  
"OH, HELL NO!"  
  
"You have to."  
  
"No way! No way in HELL!"  
  
"You promised."  
  
At the mention of her promise, she slumped her shoulders in defeat. "You're cruel. And evil. And wicked." She informed him as she slowly walked towards her impending doom. "Daddy always said boys were evil and wicked."  
  
-x-  
  
"She must be doing one of the tasks," Asuma suggested, taking a drink of his recently received drink.  
  
"Well, yeah. That's pretty obvious." Kakashi said, "So which one is she doing?"  
  
Kurenai, who was previously busy scanning the list, looked up. "I found it! Number 36, Dress like a waitress and seat a customer... Oh my, there's more..." Kurenai giggled and fell back against the bench seat.  
  
"What? What is it?" Asuma asked.  
  
"You'll see soon enough... Here she comes..." Kurenai managed.  
  
-x-  
  
Ino walked back to the jounin-occupied table, hoping that a lightning bolt would strike her down so she would not have to embarrass herself further. She had no such luck as she reached the table.  
  
"Is everything alright?" She asked the teachers. "Can I get you anything? Napkins? Forks?- 'Cause, you know, those chopsticks can get pesky. How about ice?"  
  
"Uh, I think we're good, Ino. Thanks," Asuma said.  
  
"Oh, okay," Ino said, not making the move to leave. She stood there blankly for a few more seconds until Kakashi interrupted her trance.  
  
"Uh, Ino? Is there something you need?"  
  
"No, I just-" Ino's reply was cut short by the sound of music kicking in.  
  
Everybody get movin'  
  
And the rhythm will take the control  
  
'Oh my god, I'm going to kill them when this is over!' She thought as she turned to glare daggers at her teammates. Shikamaru and Chouji were currently messing with the sound system at the reception desk.  
  
All the ladies are groovin  
  
All the fellows are ready to go  
  
'Well, now's as good a time as ever,' Ino decided, and as the music blared she climbed up onto the table, careful not to flash too many people her panties or to knock over anyone's glasses.  
  
It's getting hot tonight  
  
And it feels just right  
  
Ino started to swing her hips to the rhythm of the song and giggled when she noticed her sensei's cigarette was drooping out of his gaping mouth. Kurenai laughed and Kakashi sat back to enjoy the show.  
  
Everybody get to it  
  
Everybody move up on inside  
  
'I better get a tip for this!' She sighed. Throwing her arms into the air and swaying to the music.  
  
Baby do you wanna do it  
  
Do you wanna go down one more time  
  
By this time everyone in the restaurant was either enjoying the display or commenting on how present day's youth was definitely going down the toilet. However, those who expressed their disgust were out of luck, because the manager was enjoying the dancing beauty.  
  
Move it, move it  
  
Move it, move it  
  
When the song ended, there was much cheering and encoring. Ino picked up an empty glass and held it out for whoever was kind enough to give her a tip, and in this case there were many. When she was done collecting, she hurried off to join Shikamaru and Chouji in the employee locker room. The restaurant population was sad to see her go.  
  
-x-  
  
"Hmm, so what was that we just witnessed?" Kakashi asked.  
  
"Yeah, besides practically a kiddy porn. I could see up her dress..." Asuma added.  
  
"That was number 36, Dress like a waitress and seat a customer, 10 points, Dance for them, 10 more points, Get a tip, 10 more points."  
  
-x-  
  
Ino slammed the door behind her and all but threw the tip cup at Shikamaru.  
  
"Geez, calm down, Ino. That almost hit me in the head."  
  
"TOO BAD IT DIDN'T! Now turn around! No peaking!" Ino stripped the little black piece of cloth-er- dress off, and quickly put her own, familiar clothes back on, ranting the whole time.  
  
"Ino, look at the bright side. You made $47.00..." Shikamaru pointed out.  
  
"SO WHA- Really? Wow. I'm hot," She gloated.  
  
"Yes, yes you are." Shinkamaru had stated the obvious, but a blush came into his cheeks when he realized Ino was staring at him, eyes wide.  
  
-x-  
  
"My turn again? Why can't Sakura do something?" Sasuke complained.  
  
"Because I'm the camera woman!" Sakura defended.  
  
"Is the almighty Sasuke complaining? Is he scared?" Naruto taunted.  
  
"No, I'm not scared, hurry up give me something to do so I can get it over with."  
  
"Okay, Sakura, pick a number, any number, between 1 and 51. Whichever number you choose will be Sasuke's task." Naruto declared.  
  
"Umm, I think I'll go high. How about 48? Sound good?"  
  
"Mmk, Sasuke, here it is: Number 48, Full clothes change with another person, 30 points. Sakura and I get to choose the person!" Naruto squealed with delight.  
  
"I'm not trading my clothes with someone else," Sasuke growled.  
  
"It's not permanent or anything. It's just for the picture!" Sakura squeaked, trying to hide her delight at her crush's obvious embarrassment. Sasuke sighed as his teammates began looking for a victim.  
  
"Well, whoever we choose has to be willing to trade pants with Sasuke. That's going to be hard person to find... Who'd wanna trade clothes with that egotistical jerk?"  
  
"Naruto, you-" Sasuke was about to send Naruto flying when he was cut off by a high-pitched call.  
  
"SAKURA-CHAN!"  
  
"Oh, no..." Sakura sighed, slumping her shoulders. "Not Lee..."  
  
"But wait, Sakura-chan, this might not be a bad thing." Naruto countered.  
  
The high-pitched voice was getting closer, and was accompanied by two other voices.  
  
"What do you mean, Naruto?"  
  
"Well, doesn't Lee do everything you say?"  
  
"Yeah, but..." The realization set in. "Why, yes. Yes, he does," She giggled manically, turning her gaze toward Sasuke. Sasuke, understanding what her gaze meant, was about to protest yet again, when the three voices came to a halt in front of team seven. He couldn't very well protest while he was staring down Neji. Neji glared right back.  
  
"Sakura-chan! What are you doing out so late?" Lee asked.  
  
"Well, Lee-san, we're doing a training exercise right now, and well, we could really use your help..." Sakura fluttered her eyelashes.  
  
"Anything for Sakura-chan!" Lee replied, look of determination present on his face.  
  
"Oh, good. You see, we need you to change clothes with Sasuke-kun. Just real quick for a picture." Sakura fluttered her eyelashes again for good measure.  
  
"Anything for Sakura-chan!" Lee repeated, look of determination still present.  
  
Sasuke tore his stare from Neji and turned to frown at Sakura. "Now wait just a minute-" Sasuke didn't finish. A very determined Lee was dragging him into the alley.  
  
Two minutes later, Lee appeared dressed in Sasuke garb. Sakura noted that she would have to tell Lee where Sasuke bought his clothes, since they looked much better on him than his green jumpsuit. In fact, he looked kind of cute...  
  
Two more minutes passed and Sasuke had yet to show himself.  
  
"What's taking so long?" Naruto called, restless.  
  
"Yeah, come on, Sasuke," Sakura agreed.  
  
Sasuke poked his head from around the corner. "I am definitely not coming out. So send Lee back in here with my clothes. Now," Sasuke hissed.  
  
"No can do, Sasuke. So you might as well come out," Naruto said.  
  
Sasuke apparently realized they wouldn't let him off easy on this one, because after about thirty more seconds, he stepped out from the alley, wearing Lee's green jumpsuit, eyes focused on the ground.  
  
Lee beamed at Sasuke. "WOW, You look great! I should have Gai-sensei give you an extra jumpsuit!"  
  
Neji tried to keep his composure, but when Naruto, Sakura, and TenTen doubled over in hysterics, he had to laugh himself. "Yeah, Lee, that's a great idea. You ask Gai-sensei about that later, okay?"  
  
Sakura managed to snap a few pictures before Sasuke grabbed a hold of Lee and dragged him forcefully back into the alleyway.  
  
-x-  
  
Kiba peered out from behind the bush, looking for his target. Hinata stepped on a twig and Kiba motioned for her to stop moving. "Shh, he'll see us. He probably already knows we're in the general vicinity, so let's not show him exactly where." Kiba whispered.  
  
"So-sorry Kiba-kun," the girl whispered back.  
  
"It's okay. It was an accident," Kiba assured her, not taking his eyes off the Anbu who was leaning against the side of the nearby building. "So, what's the plan of attack?" Kiba asked.  
  
"What do you mean? This was YOUR great and wonderful idea. You haven't even come up with a plan yet?" Shino shook his head and relaxed behind the bush, "This is pathetic."  
  
"Hey, I thought you didn't care about winning. And besides, I have a plan... kind of."  
  
"Oh? And what is your plan, oh great leader?"  
  
"Well, I was thinking of rushing him. I could use some help," Kiba said.  
  
"You want help rushing an Anbu? You're crazy. Do it yourself. You might as well do it now while he's turned the other way." Shino replied.  
  
"Good idea," Kiba said as he jumped from the bush and ran full speed toward his prey.  
  
"Wait, Kiba!-shit."  
  
"Shino-kun, is Kiba-kun g-going to be o-okay? W-what if the Anbu m-mistakes his intentions?"  
  
Kiba was about 8 feet from his mark when he decided to pounce. He wound his arms around the Anbu's neck and wrapped his legs around the Anbu's waist. The Anbu thrashed around trying to release the tight hold. Shino and Hinata scrambled to first take a picture of the odd situation, and then to help peel Kiba off the Anbu. However, by the time they were done taking the picture, there was no Anbu to peel Kiba off of.  
  
"What in the HELL is going on?" Asked an annoyed voice coming from the roof.  
  
The three genins looked up to see the fuming Anbu staring back at them, waiting for an answer.  
  
"Well, see, we're doing this training exercise tonight for Kurenai-sensei, and one of the things we were supposed to do is Number 16, Piggyback ride from an Anbu, 50 points. So, uh, you see, no hard feelings, right...? Please don't kill us!" Kiba begged.  
  
The Anbu chuckled. "I'll have to check with your teacher later. Now get out of here."  
  
The three genins, relieved for their lives, ran off into the darkness.  
  
-x-  
  
End of Part 2 Tally:  
  
Kakashi Team: 145 points  
  
Kurenai Team: 170 points  
  
Asuma Team: 145 points  
  
A/N: Thanks reviewers! Hope you liked this chapter. It's kind of long for me. Woo. I'm guessing there will only be about 2 more chapters or so, seeing as how it's getting close to midnight. Hopefully I can think of stuff for two more chapters. Eek. 


End file.
